Holiday Giving

I must admit, I'm a bit of a scrooge. I only keep my Christmas decorations up for a couple of weeks, and it was back in storage the first thing this morning. Because I live by myself, I don't really have much of a reason to keep the decorations out past Christmas. And the decorations aren't that extravagant, either. I don't decorate the outside of my house, and my tree is a three foot tall pre-lit plastic tree that cost $15 at Target. I don't even put ornaments on it. I just carry it up from the basement, try to shake the spiders out, place it on a table, and plug it in. Instant Christmas.

The gifts I gave this year were primarily homemade. I spent several days baking banana chocolate chip bread, beer bread (made with Schlafly 15), cookies, and brownies. I think they were all well-received. At least I hope they were. I didn't hear any complaints. I gave a few people gift certificates. I also chipped in on a fancy cookie jar for my mom. She loves cookie jars, especially this one -- it is Santa Claus riding a Harley with a sidecar. And, of course, the sidecar contains a reindeer.

I received some stuff, too. Lots of edible things, which are always welcome. I also received a gift card and some cash.

My mom always throws in a couple of little things that are just sort of random. This year, it was this book about coping with the death of a pet (my dog is really old, but he's not dead yet, thank you very much) and some strange book about the year I was born. I haven't opened it yet, but based on past experiences with the "thoughtful" gifts my mom gives, I'm going to guess that it's about 40 pages of pop culture footnotes from that year.

She means well. She just can't see things from my perspective, because our views on what constitutes a good gift are diametrically opposed.

Mom likes her gifts to be seasonal, impractical, and cute. If it makes her go "awww" it's a good gift. Example: last year, she gave me one of those Hallmark singing snowman things. You know, the plus things that, at the touch of a button, start singing a Christmas song. Mom loves that shit. I think it's a horrible waste of money, but they seem to make her happy.

I, on the other hand, very much prefer practical things. Gift cards and cash, obviously, are at the top of my list.

The solution here is clear. When mom goes shopping for me, she should buy me the thing she would least want to receive for Christmas. And I should follow the same lead for her.

That's why this year, I was happy to see a $50 Target card, and she was thrilled with her Santa cookie jar.

To the four people who still read this, I hope your Christmases were all merry and stuff.

Holy Cow

It's December already. And not only is it December already, it's like almost a third of the way through December. Christmas is just over two weeks away.

I'm not buying presents for anyone this year. Anyone, that is, except for my mom. And my secret Santa person at work. And a couple of friends.

Everyone else is getting brownies. Deal with it.