Tonight I had a visitor. It was the local paper delivery man. He looked haggard and beaten down. In one hand was a can of diet, caffeine-free soda (presumably because he'll have to be at work in eight hours), and in the other was a lit cigarette and a clipboard full of subscription forms.
As I opened the door, Doc lunged at him. That's what Doc does when a salesman or churchie comes to the door. He lunges. It's an endearing trait of his. Granted, Doc never bites -- only barks -- but he lunges nonetheless.
The guy started to tell me how he's been delivering the Post-Dispatch and Suburban Journals for over 30 years. He then tells me that the Suburban Journals are no longer free -- that if I wanted to keep receiving my weekly paper, I would have to subscribe.
"Good," I told him. "That thing would always go straight in the recycle bin. You can keep it."
See, I believe in honesty. Brutal honesty. Especially with salespeople. Particularly those who come to my door. That's why I told him that my employer participates in the newspapers for education program, and I can get a free copy of the Post-Dispatch, the New York Times, and USA Today in the lobby of my building five days a week. And I told him that I really don't read the Sunday paper. And then I told him what I know he didn't want to hear -- but what he needed to hear, and is probably hearing a lot:
"Also, I read the Post-Dispatch online."
He chided me for that. Chided! He told me that's not what you tell someone in his line of business. I told him I'm being up-front with him. He told me (again) that he's been delivering the paper to this route for over 30 years, and if he was blind, he could still hit the door. While this didn't impress me at all (since the Suburban Journal has not once been anywhere remotely near my door) I told him that I'd buy the Sunday paper from him for the coupons, since I do like to save money on stuff.
Then he wanted me to pay him in cash. Or by check. Or with a credit card. Right there. On my porch. Like 20 minutes ago.
I told him no thanks, and that the Post-Dispatch could send me a bill, which I would happily pay.
He persisted. I informed him that when I lived in Maplewood, the Post-Dispatch sent me a bill for a brand new subscription, and there weren't any problems with that. He said, "come on man, I'm struggling here -- I thought you were doing this for me."
Let's stop right here. If you are a door-to-door salesman, or if you are something else entirely but are somehow required to do door-to-door sales (such as a paper delivery person), and you are unlucky enough to land on my doorstep, don't insult my intelligence by trying to make the situation personal. It will make me immediately not want to buy your product and shut the door in your face.
The delivery man turned sales guy then proceeded to argue with me some more, even going so far as to say he'd wait for me, right there, on my porch, while I got my checkbook. I again said, "if the Post-Dispatch could bill me for a new subscription three years ago, they can do it now."
Then he said, "you're wasting my time," and walked away, ashing his cigarette on my porch.
Now, I know that occasionally, employees of the Post-Dispatch read this blog. Take note: I know times are tough for print media. Times are tough for everyone. Right now is a shitty time to exist, financially speaking. That being said, if you want to sell subscriptions, don't send the delivery guy door-to-door.
Your delivery guys are creepy. I know, I know, they work really hard for their money, just like everyone else. But if you're trying to drum up business, and you want to catch people while they're sitting at home eating dinner, don't send the chain smoker who has been up since 3 AM. By this time of day, he's cranky. Maybe he's always cranky. Who knows? I'm sure part of it is that he's sick of hearing assholes like me tell him that they get their news online.
And why do we get our news online? I do it because it's free. Also, it's more environmentally friendly. And it's free. And it's easy to find what I'm looking for. And it's free. And I don't have tons of newspapers piled up every day. And did I mention that it's free? No? Well, it is.
I'm sorry that print media is dying. I really am.
Actually, no, scratch that. Print media isn't dying. It is in its final death throes. But I'm still sorry. It's a consequence of progress, though. So, Post-Dispatch, if you want my help rearranging the deck chairs on your quickly sinking Titanic, don't send someone creepy to my door. It makes me like you less.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Window Shopping
I'm looking for new windows for my house. My current windows are aluminum-framed single-pane windows. They leak heat like a sieve. All the screens are missing, too, so if I want to open the windows, I'm opening my home to everything that flies through the air.
Over the last couple of months, I've been gathering estimates from different companies. Here's what I've got so far:
New Transitions, LLC, St. Charles, MO - $3,838 for seven CertainTeed windows, including installation and removal and replacement of awnings outside. The company's owner, Bryan, came by my house when he was in the neighborhood, and gave me a free estimate. Very professional and extremely friendly, and I may be willing to pay more to support a locally-owned company.
Champion Windows - $4,200 for seven Champion Comfort 365 windows, plus an extra $279 for removing and replacing the awnings. Of all the products I've seen, this was my favorite, but I'm not totally convinced the extra cost is worth it. Additionally, the salesman respected my intelligence and was totally on the ball -- every question I asked, he answered without hesitation. And I asked lots of questions (I was at their showroom for two hours). He almost gave me too much information on their company and their product.
Drunk contractor at a bar - $1,900 for seven Cardinal windows. However, this guy didn't even take a look at my house, much less measure the windows, so I'm sure this would end up in court. I won't be using him.
Lowes - $1,650 for Wellcraft windows plus $139 per window for installation. Total job cost: about $2,800. The Lowes price was originally $1,900 plus installation, but the guy at the millworks desk made some money-saving adjustments on my large living room window (it's 96" wide and 48" high) and called me back later with the adjusted price. I really appreciated that he kept working on my estimate for a couple of hours after I left the store. However, I am concerned about the quality of the windows. Are windows from Lowes as good as windows from other sources?
Thomas Construction - this one was downright funny. The guy spent all of ten minutes at my house because Doc, my senile and normally docile dog, would not let him come inside. So the guy measured a couple of windows (not all of them) and came back to the door with a number scribbled on his business card. $11,394. However, he said that if I signed a contract before he left, they could do the job for $6,800. I told him that wouldn't be necessary, and I wouldn't waste any more of his time.
I can't believe that people really fall for the high-pressure sales tactics of Thomas Construction. They must, otherwise, Thomas wouldn't be able to stay in business. I guess St. Louis is full of suckers who will pay over $1,000 per window without considering alternatives. Obviously, I'm not one of those people.
I've received four estimates already, and plan to get at least two more, from Dalco and Window World. I may even get a few more after that.
Over the last couple of months, I've been gathering estimates from different companies. Here's what I've got so far:
New Transitions, LLC, St. Charles, MO - $3,838 for seven CertainTeed windows, including installation and removal and replacement of awnings outside. The company's owner, Bryan, came by my house when he was in the neighborhood, and gave me a free estimate. Very professional and extremely friendly, and I may be willing to pay more to support a locally-owned company.
Champion Windows - $4,200 for seven Champion Comfort 365 windows, plus an extra $279 for removing and replacing the awnings. Of all the products I've seen, this was my favorite, but I'm not totally convinced the extra cost is worth it. Additionally, the salesman respected my intelligence and was totally on the ball -- every question I asked, he answered without hesitation. And I asked lots of questions (I was at their showroom for two hours). He almost gave me too much information on their company and their product.
Drunk contractor at a bar - $1,900 for seven Cardinal windows. However, this guy didn't even take a look at my house, much less measure the windows, so I'm sure this would end up in court. I won't be using him.
Lowes - $1,650 for Wellcraft windows plus $139 per window for installation. Total job cost: about $2,800. The Lowes price was originally $1,900 plus installation, but the guy at the millworks desk made some money-saving adjustments on my large living room window (it's 96" wide and 48" high) and called me back later with the adjusted price. I really appreciated that he kept working on my estimate for a couple of hours after I left the store. However, I am concerned about the quality of the windows. Are windows from Lowes as good as windows from other sources?
Thomas Construction - this one was downright funny. The guy spent all of ten minutes at my house because Doc, my senile and normally docile dog, would not let him come inside. So the guy measured a couple of windows (not all of them) and came back to the door with a number scribbled on his business card. $11,394. However, he said that if I signed a contract before he left, they could do the job for $6,800. I told him that wouldn't be necessary, and I wouldn't waste any more of his time.
I can't believe that people really fall for the high-pressure sales tactics of Thomas Construction. They must, otherwise, Thomas wouldn't be able to stay in business. I guess St. Louis is full of suckers who will pay over $1,000 per window without considering alternatives. Obviously, I'm not one of those people.
I've received four estimates already, and plan to get at least two more, from Dalco and Window World. I may even get a few more after that.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
City Living
I have officially been a resident of the city of Saint Louis for almost eight months now, and I've learned that there are some unwritten rules for living here.
1.) Good fences definitely make good neighbors, so if you have a fence (and if you live in the city, you probably do), keep the weeds trimmed on your side.
2.) The alley isn't your personal space. If you have a grassy plot adjacent to the alley, sure, use it for whatever, but don't park your vehicle right in the middle of the alley.
3.) Also, don't walk down the alley. There are plenty of sidewalks to use. Also, walking down the alley riles up all the dogs on any given block.
4.) Many homes in the city have garages. Many more don't. For those homes without garages or driveways, street parking is the only other option. When you and your neighbors have to park on the street, the unwritten rule is that the area directly in front of your house is yours. Sure, I realize this is not enforceable in any court of law, but 99% of the time everyone will abide by this. It is easy to spot the newcomers to any street because they will, more often than not, park in front of two houses at once.
5.) It is good to know the people who live in front of, behind, and to the sides of your house. They will look out for your interests and you will look out for theirs because they are one in the same.
6.) If you live on a side street (like me -- Pennsylvania Avenue) don't hold your breath waiting for a snow plow. It will never come. The city says it will, but it is best to operate under the assumption that the city only has one snow plow. While city employees may not technically be lying when they say that your street will get plowed eventually, what they omit from this statement is that by the time "eventually" rolls around, it is July.
7.) Don't be afraid to dial 911 if something seems sketchy. Sure, you can call the police department's non-emergency numbers, but they're just going to tell you to hang up and dial 911.
8.) If you're hosting a party, barbecue, seance, or AA meeting at your house, inform your neighbors so they know that there will be a few extra cars parked on your street, but that it won't be a long-term thing. Nothing sucks more than to leave to get some groceries only to come back and find that some stranger from the county has parked midway between your house and your neighbor's house, making it impossible for any other vehicles to fit there, and then having to walk around the block with five bags of produce and frozen food.
9.) For the love of all things holy, don't try to make a U-turn in the middle of a block on a side street. Just go down to the next intersection and turn around there.
10.) If you're going to have some sort of outdoor gathering in your back yard, invite your neighbors. That way, they can't complain about the noise, since A) they knew about the party in advance, or B) they'll be there having a good time.
Do any of my fellow city-dwellers have anything to add? Specifically, I'm looking for St. Louis city dwellers, but if there are any opinions from other areas (NYC and Chicago friends, I'm looking at you), I'd love to hear your tips, too.
1.) Good fences definitely make good neighbors, so if you have a fence (and if you live in the city, you probably do), keep the weeds trimmed on your side.
2.) The alley isn't your personal space. If you have a grassy plot adjacent to the alley, sure, use it for whatever, but don't park your vehicle right in the middle of the alley.
3.) Also, don't walk down the alley. There are plenty of sidewalks to use. Also, walking down the alley riles up all the dogs on any given block.
4.) Many homes in the city have garages. Many more don't. For those homes without garages or driveways, street parking is the only other option. When you and your neighbors have to park on the street, the unwritten rule is that the area directly in front of your house is yours. Sure, I realize this is not enforceable in any court of law, but 99% of the time everyone will abide by this. It is easy to spot the newcomers to any street because they will, more often than not, park in front of two houses at once.
5.) It is good to know the people who live in front of, behind, and to the sides of your house. They will look out for your interests and you will look out for theirs because they are one in the same.
6.) If you live on a side street (like me -- Pennsylvania Avenue) don't hold your breath waiting for a snow plow. It will never come. The city says it will, but it is best to operate under the assumption that the city only has one snow plow. While city employees may not technically be lying when they say that your street will get plowed eventually, what they omit from this statement is that by the time "eventually" rolls around, it is July.
7.) Don't be afraid to dial 911 if something seems sketchy. Sure, you can call the police department's non-emergency numbers, but they're just going to tell you to hang up and dial 911.
8.) If you're hosting a party, barbecue, seance, or AA meeting at your house, inform your neighbors so they know that there will be a few extra cars parked on your street, but that it won't be a long-term thing. Nothing sucks more than to leave to get some groceries only to come back and find that some stranger from the county has parked midway between your house and your neighbor's house, making it impossible for any other vehicles to fit there, and then having to walk around the block with five bags of produce and frozen food.
9.) For the love of all things holy, don't try to make a U-turn in the middle of a block on a side street. Just go down to the next intersection and turn around there.
10.) If you're going to have some sort of outdoor gathering in your back yard, invite your neighbors. That way, they can't complain about the noise, since A) they knew about the party in advance, or B) they'll be there having a good time.
Do any of my fellow city-dwellers have anything to add? Specifically, I'm looking for St. Louis city dwellers, but if there are any opinions from other areas (NYC and Chicago friends, I'm looking at you), I'd love to hear your tips, too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
