It takes all kinds?

Last night at Schnucks, I encountered a south city version of my mom.

I was standing in the checkout line and the lady in front of me had in her hands two 20 ounce bottles of soda and a candy bar. When her purchase was rung up, she paid for it by writing out a check.

She did not know the date.

She also wrote the check out for ten dollars over the purchase amount.

I called my mom to tell her about this.

"I just did that at the grocery store this morning," she said.

"I know," I replied, "you always do that."

Seriously, she's done that for years. It's humorous because the same exact thing can be accomplished in one tenth of the time with a debit card. Plus, really, what are you going to do with ten bucks these days? I know ten bucks wouldn't get me very far. It would buy me lunch, but not a lunch I would want to eat. Then again, my mother and her gang of similarly-aged ladyfriends could probably stretch that ten bucks out for days.

This would be the point at which some people would just say, "it takes all kinds!" and move on, because I'll be the first to admit that this story doesn't have much of a point. Yet.

What's up with that phrase, anyway?

"It takes all kinds."

What takes all kinds? All kinds of what? What the hell? Is this supposed to mean something, or are these just words people say when they're bored with what another person is saying with the hope that it will make that person shut up? Maybe it's just a response used by people who don't pick up on the cue that the preceding sentiments were open-ended, meant to incite discussion rather than solicit a specific response.

I didn't write about my mother because I was hoping someone would tell me why people of a certain age do something (although if you are an anthropologist, sociologist, or psychologist, please feel free to weigh in). I wrote about her because I thought it was funny and wanted to share it with you, and perhaps encourage you to tell me that your 66 year old mother also does that very same thing. And if your mother does that very same thing, I bet she also pronounces the word sundae as sun-duh.

I do, however, want specific answers to the "it takes all kinds" queries above. I will also accept your comments on other phrases and their various uses, such as "out of pocket" (I've heard it used to describe someone who was unavailable), "another day in paradise" (workplace context only, please), or "what can you do?"

Okay, go.

Baby Boom

There's something in the water. And that something is semen.

I'm at that point in my life where most of my friends are married and are now starting to have kids. Because, you know, the late 20s/early 30s seems to be the time when everyone wants to get married and procreate.

Okay. Whatever. I'm down with that. I mean, for some couples, getting a puppy isn't enough. But anyway, I'm really glad that, during these wedding and babymaking years, I'm a guy.

See, guys don't have to go to showers. The only shower that is expected of us is the one we're supposed to take once a day to keep from smelling like death. No toilet paper wedding dresses for us. No bow bouquets. No weird baby games. Seriously. None of that crap. And for this I am grateful.

No, all that is expected of men before these major life events is our attendance at a bachelor party. Which, as you know, is much different than a bridal shower or a baby shower.

I'm also glad I'm a morally ambiguous person, so nobody asks me to be a godparent. I have one godchild -- my nephew Chris -- and I think he and I both understand that I'm really not the person he should be going to for spiritual guidance. Although he does despise going to church, so I guess there is a parallel there -- a parallel for which I claim zero responsibility.

Guys have it very easy. We just have to show up once, and even then, drunkenness is an expectation.

It's good to be a guy.