The things we learn from teevee...

Last night, the teevee (specifically, How I Met Your Mother) taught me all about Murtaugh Lists.

The Murtaugh List, named after the Lethal Weapon character, LAPD Detective Roger Murtaugh, is a list of things you're too old to do. Because throughout the series, Detective Murtaugh's catch phrase is "I'm gettin' too old for this shit!"

So I started thinking (like the rest of the blogosphere -- I never claimed this would be original) about what is on my Murtaugh List. And I came up with the following:

- Staying up past midnight when I have to be at work at 8.
- Sleeping on couches.
- Consuming any beverage described as “jungle juice.”
- Living in squalor.
- Sleeping past 9 AM (note that there are a few circumstances where it’s okay to wake up before 9 and then go back to bed to take an extended nap until noon or so – these circumstances are called “weekends.”)
- Taking my laundry to my mom’s house.
- Driving a vehicle with more than two bumper stickers. I have two on mine as of right now – one for Jay Nixon, one for Barack Obama.
- Drinking games.
- Consuming any Hostess product.
- Eating any breakfast cereal that has less than 5% fiber.
- Eating gas station cuisine.
- Playing touch football – because we all know “touch” means “full contact.”
- Horseplay of any sort.
- Most of the programming on MTV.
- Silly ringtones.
- Wearing any clothing that has a cartoon character on it (yes, this includes my Bear-Shark and Bad Graphics Ghost shirts)
- Paying money to see any movie with Vin Diesel.
- Z 107.7
- The club scene.

I posted this on Facebook (another thing that should possibly be on the lists of many individuals), and one friend -- who is 31 -- pointed out to me that this past weekend, she spent time watching the first season of Freakazoid while laying on an air mattress.

It could have been worse -- she could have spent that time watching cartoons featuring younger versions of already-established characters (think Muppet Babies, Flintstone Kids, Little Rosie, Tiny Toon Adventures, etc.)

But really, I guess age is more of a state of mind. And, as a few people pointed out, the only thing on their Murtaugh List is minors.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me

As you may or may not know, I was a contestant on NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me back in October. I was the listener in the stump-the-listener challenge, and I was not stumped. Therefore, I won Carl Kasell's voice on my answering machine.

Well, the CD with his greeting (which I had to write) finally arrived. In it, Carl Kasell says:

"Hi, this is Carl Kasell from Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me on National Public Radio, and I'm here to let you know that Bob can't answer your call right now, but in the meantime, let's play a round of the listener limerick challenge:

Bob didn't answer his phone, what a creep
He might be ignoring you, or gone, or asleep
But hold on there Jack
He'll call you right back
So leave your message right after the ____."

For the select few who know my home phone number, you can call it and listen to the message now. It's pretty sweet.