The Sofa Spud's Guide to Fall 2009

Okay, so I'm a bit of a couch potato. That shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone. I like my stories. And by "my stories" I obviously mean the TV shows I watch on a regular basis. Here's my take on what's what for Fall 2009:

SNL: The season premiere was weak. Really weak. The SNL writers had all summer to come up with something funny, and the best they could do was the 90 minutes of crap I reluctantly watched the other night? The only thing memorable about the opener of season 35 was newcomer Jenny Slate dropping the F-bomb in her very first sketch, ever.



And, sadly, that didn't make the show anymore interesting. It just provided another footnote. Regardless, I remain hopeful for SNL. But because this isn't an election year, I don't think it will be nearly as funny. Politics = comedy gold mine. Fail for the opener, hoping for a win later on.

The Office: Win. Next.

The Good Wife: Okay, this one is new. And a fellow Truman grad is one of the writers on the show, so I admit, I'm a bit biased. But still, I watched the series opener, and I was impressed. Check it out. It's good. All sorts of win here.

The Cleveland Show: Fail. Big fail. The Cleveland Show = Family Guy only it's in Virginia instead of Quahog, and it focuses on Cleveland instead of Peter. I mean, Jesus, it's even got a talking animal (the bear), a sassy Stewie stand-in, and relies heavily on cutaways (fill in the blank: "It's like that time I ____ with _____" and insert something ridiculous) instead of actual plots. And what's even worse is that Seth McFarlane now does three of the four shows on Fox's Sunday night lineup. Ugh. That brings me to...

Family Guy: Fail. Okay, Family Guy, it was cute for the first seven seasons. I get it -- you've got this sense of self-righteousness because Fox brought you back from the dead. However, that doesn't give you a pass to keep recycling the same moronic schtick that caters to mouth-breathing troglodytes and frat boys.

What's that? Troglodytes and frat boys are your target demographic?

Carry on.

How I Met Your Mother: Win, but Jesus, would you just fucking meet her already?

The big Bang Theory: Win. This was pretty much confirmed when it was renewed for not one, but two more seasons. That's unprecedented. However, now that Penny and Leonard have hooked up (after the long months spent at the north pole) where do we go from here? It's no longer a matter of will-they vs. won't-they. It's a matter of will-it-last vs. this-is-gonna-end-badly.

Antiques Roadshow: All sorts of win. Especially if you've got valuable old shit in your attic. Double win if your belt and your nipples are only inches apart.

Glee: Win, with reservations. I've got problems with the inaccurate details in a lot of TV scripts. In Glee, for example, the cheer coach offers a job to the teacher who was fired for making sexual advances toward a student. First of all, why is the cheer coach offering a job to someone? Sure, the plot makes it seem like she blackmailed the principal, but this is a public school. There are way more levels of bureaucracy to go through. Also, how does that disgraced teacher (who was offered the job by the cheer coach) get re-hired without a shitstorm from the public? I realize it's fiction, but come on writers, get off your duffs and do some research! And the main character's dad said he went from the military to law school. That's not how it works. You have to get an undergraduate degree somewhere along the way to get into any reputable law school. And on the subject of law school...

Community: I'm holding out for a win. Community has the potential to be funny. Really, it does. I'm just not seeing it, though. But then again, I'm not going to be too hasty, as the characters will (hopefully) develop over the coming weeks. But, based on what I said earlier about my issues with certain details. The show is about a guy who, as it turns out, got his law degree from Colombia (the country) not Columbia (the school.) Okay, that's fine. I'm following you. But then he is forced to go to community college to make up for it. And that's where the logical disconnect occurs. Community colleges offer, at most, associate degrees, so I'm really not sure how this is supposed to work out. Or maybe I'm just being obsessive about the details, like the character in Community who, in the first episode, identified himself as having Asperger's Syndrome. He's on the left in this hilarious clip:



See, everyone in the show is in a Spanish class. But what are they gonna do when the semester is over? Huh? Have you thought about that, NBC? That semester has to end sometime...

Parks & Recreation: Fail. This show was doomed from the start. I mean, jeez, NBC practically sold it as being The Office all over again. But it's not. It just isn't. It's not the same. It's not even in the same vein, even though it tries so hard to be. Although I did find the gay penguin wedding to be hilarious. Maybe P&R will have a sophomore rebound of sorts?

Californication: All sorts of win. I ordered Showtime JUST for this show, it's that good. David Duchovny is back as Hank Moody and he's just as much of a train wreck as ever. In this season's opener, after catching his daughter and her friend stoned out of their minds (they smoked his stash, too -- double burn), he is invited to a dinner party at the friend's parents' house. But, seeing how this is Hank Moody, of course, he nearly killed the man of the house (unknowingly) on his way there, and also enabled a fellow dinner guest to relapse after ten years of sobriety. Oh, and he has lots of sex, too. Hank Moody, you're still my hero.

And, what makes this show even better is the fact that, even though the title is Californication, they don't use the song of the same name for the opening credits. That'd just be cheap, and they know it.

Futurama: Win.

Wait -- did I just say Futurama? I sure did. Futurama only had four seasons, originally, when Cartoon Network picked it up in syndication, and that was like six years ago. Viewership soared, a la the Family Guy effect. The Futurama creators were approached about doing a feature-length, straight-to-DVD movie, which they made, and then followed up with three more, culminating in what was supposed to be the end of Futurama as we know it... But then Comedy Central picked up the episode and gave it life once more, not only by airing reruns of the original four seasons, but by segmenting those four movies into episodes AND ordering 26 BRAND NEW EPISODES, to be aired in mid-2010. I couldn't be more excited about this, as I believe Futurama is by far the most underrated animated series in the history of television. I think it's because of Hypnotoad.

Finally, 30 Rock: WIN. How could it not be full of win after last season's finale featured Alan Alda saying, "All this crying over a baby and a chicken? I thought this was supposed to be a comedy show!" I'd like to buy a drink for whoever came up with that line.

Disclaimer: The previously stated opinions may be total bullshit, as they were produced on equipment that frequently handles bullshit -- my brain. You've been warned.

Now go home, find a comfortable spot on your couch, and settle in for what looks like it's going to be a great year for television.