OMG I am so blogging about that!

Seriously, that has been my reaction to a handful of things lately. I'm kind of ashamed to admit it. I've become one of those people whose first instinct is to blog when provoked.

In other news, I'm thinking of buying something large and expensive -- a house. Not right this instant, but in the not-too-distant future. When I do buy a house, I will be the first of my siblings to have a mortgage. See, my brother lives with our mom (a mutually beneficial relationship), one sister rents, and another sister has a sweet housing situation created by a generous in-law.

I could live with mom, but then again, I couldn't. It's too much of a commute to work -- an hour each way. And the cost of gas is ridiculous.

My commute to work now takes 35 minutes, tops, and that's if I ride from the Shrewsbury Metrolink station. Most days, I ride from the Delmar station, which is only about three miles from my apartment. And it reduces my drive by about 75%.

In other news, work is work. And I will be the only one at work on Monday morning. No, it's not a holiday of any sort. It's just that everyone else is either on vacation or off campus for various meetings. Including the director's secretary, who answers the main phone line. So I will be covering the phone for her Monday morning.

I'm planning on putting a sign on the door to the main office that says, "Bob is the only one here this morning - please adjust your expectations accordingly."

Seriously, I'm a terrible secretary. That's why I don't fill in much. Some people are still missing some tooth enamel from the last time I filled in for her and had to make the morning pot of coffee.

I had no idea 15 scoops was too many.

Oh. My. God.

Or their God, depending on your belief system.

Click here, and be sure to watch the video.

Desiccant Part Deux

A few folks saw this post yesterday and liked it. One even suggested putting an ad on Craigslist.

So that's exactly what I did.

It started out as an ad in the "wanted" section, and consisted of me asking (in a manner very similar to the entry I wrote yesterday) for lots of silica gel packets.

Apparently the "wanted" section only applies to things that particular community things people actually want. Several jackasses flagged my post and it was taken down by nine this morning.

Then I thought, "hey, this can't be any worse than most of the personal ads on there..."

So that's where I put it. And as of this afternoon, I've had a surprisingly high number of responses... But still no desiccant.

Hrmph.

I Need a Desiccant.

My office is humid. My air conditioning unit works, but it's still humid in here. This is problematic because I keep lots of envelopes in my office. I'm talking thousands of envelopes. In fact, I just looked, and I have about 20,000 envelopes in my office at this very moment.

When I assembled a mass mailing today, I had some issues with my equipment because the humidity had made my envelopes a bit puffy. I already put in a work order to have my air conditioning unit looked at (because, in theory, it's supposed to pull the moisture from the air), but until that happens (my guess is that it will either happen tomorrow or January, but not anytime in between those two dates) I've been thinking of ways to remove the moisture from the air.

My first inclination was a dehumidifier. That would probably work just fine, and would be a very reasonable solution. It is also a very boring solution. So then I thought, "hey, what about those tiny silica gel packets you find in shoe boxes?"

I mean, I can visualize my office as being just one large shoe box. In fact, the dimensions are quite similar to those of a shoe box. Minus the windows, of course... Anyway, I decided to do some math.

If the formula to find the volume of a rectangular prism (such as my office, which is kind of big) is as follows:

side 1 x side 2 x side 3

that would be 12 (width) x 22 (length) x 11 (height) = 2904 cubic feet. If 2.4 average shoe boxes occupy one cubic foot of space, then I would need 6969 shoe boxes.

And logic would dictate that I would need one silica gel packet for each shoe box, or 2.4 for each cubic foot, I would need the same number of silica gel packets to get rid of the humidity in my office. Or at least to bring it down to the level of the average shoe box.

So, who wants to go try on shoes with me tonight? I need about 7,000 silica gel packets.

Random List #1

Things that remind me of flea markets:

- Novelty cell phone face plates.
- Slightly irregular tube socks.
- Any article of clothing that has been airbrushed.
- Desperation
- Toys with unsafe amounts of lead that will break within a week
- NASCAR memorabilia
- Decorative knives and swords
- Confederate flags
- Second-hand junk by the conversion van-load
- Brooks and Dunn fans
- Electronics of questionable origin
- Haggling
- My mother

Taking Stock

Went to a barbecue tonight. It was both delicious and enlightening, as I found myself sitting in a good friend's backyard until nearly two in the morning discussing lots of things that can only be summed up as "life."

The discussion gave me a chance to stop and take stock of things. I've got a handful of really great friends, that's for sure. Those are the ones who are easy to spot - they call you to see how you're doing. They e-mail if they haven't heard from you in a while. They invite you to do things. They acknowledge that friendship is a two-way exchange.

Sure, there are some peripheral friends (it sounds better than acquaintance) too, and they're alright, I guess, so long as the understanding exists that they are peripheral friends and not a lot more. They can become real friends, but it takes time.

Then there is the disappointment of discovering those who you thought were your really good friends were only peripheral friends. Or, even worse, not friends at all. They're the ones who don't return calls or e-mails. They don't make much of an effort to spend time with you. They can't be bothered to listen to you complain about a bad day (even if you've done the same for them countless times.) To them, your friendship is one of convenience. They're your friend only when it's convenient for their lives.

And while the last group is very disappointing, they have certainly been beneficial for me. After all, they make me appreciate my real friends that much more.

Jim Edmonds' Return to The Lou

So Jim Edmonds is back in St. Louis this weekend, but he's wearing blue.

After all, he IS a Cub now.

Bernie Miklasz says we should treat his return with indifference - don't boo him because that will be some sort of backhanded tribute to him. But don't cheer him either, because that would be (gasp!) akin to fraternizing with the enemy! We can't have Cardinals fans applauding Cubs players!

I disagree.

Jim Edmonds spent his best years with the birds on his chest. But, toward the end of his time on the Cardinals' roster, he wasn't the same player he was when he first set foot in St. Louis. His option for this season was as follows: be a part-time player in St. Louis or be a full-time player somewhere else. It's that simple.

And as for the quotes cited in Miklasz's column, of course Edmonds wants the Chicago media to put his time with the Cardinals in the past. That's exactly where it is. Jim Edmonds is on the Chicago Cubs' roster now. His job is to be a Cub. He's focused on the present and the future. I mean, let's be honest - Jimmy Baseball knows what it's like to be on a winning team, and right now, he's on the best team in the National League. He's no fool. He's merely focused on doing his job - helping the Cubs play past September. And frankly, I'm happy for Edmonds. He is happy to be a Cub because he's playing baseball. The Cardinals have a very crowded - and, with the exception of Chris Duncan, talented - outfield this year. If he remained in a Cardinals uniform this year, he would not be starting every day.

And another thing, if you're ever at a Cardinals game, you may notice that when a former Cardinal steps to the plate for the opposing team, they are announced as such. Just this week, I attended three games, and this was the case at each one. Sure, the Cubs and Cardinals are arch-rivals, but is this any reason to be disrespectful?

I say go ahead and applaud Jim Edmonds when he steps to the plate in a Cubs uniform. Applaud him for the memories he helped create. Applaud him for being a down-to-earth player (i.e., the anti-Barry Bonds) and appreciate the fact that he's doing one hell of a job on what is shaping up to be an excellent Cubs team (for now.)

Besides, Cardinal Nation isn't about hating the Cubs. Cardinal Nation actually doesn't hate the Cubs. Cardinal Nation loves the Cardinals AND the game of baseball, but never, ever hates.

Kudos to those of you who stood up and applauded Jimmy Baseball. And for those of you who booed him or turned your backs on him because of his team, shame on you.

Normally, this is where I'd end this post, but while writing it, I e-mailed Bernie Miklasz my thoughts on the matter, and he replied within two minutes to say:

Thanks, Bob.
Appreciate the note.
No one would have made a big deal if Edmonds had returned in another uniform (not Cubs).
For the last quarter century, Cardinals fans kept telling me how much they hate the Cubs.
As it turned out, it was a lot of posturing. And that's swell with me.
Thank you, sir...

Bernie

I think true Cardinals fans don't need to posture like that.

Where The Hell Is Matt?

This guy danced in 42 countries. This video took 14 months to make.

For more info, click here.