Tired...

I'm tired. I took a couple of out-of-towners sightseeing today. Sightseeing always wears me out. Especially when it's 89 degrees out and I can't find a place to park the van that isn't less than half a mile away.

We went on a riverboat cruise. I got my first sunburn of the season.

Also, I think there aren't nearly enough zeppelins in the skies these days.

Twister in the 'Hood

At about 12:40 PM, I was sitting in the cafeteria of the student center, eating lunch with Carol, a colleague of mine. This isn't unusual.

What was unusual was the large number of people heading down the first floor hallway, to the Pilot House -- a huge windowless basement room used for student activities. Seriously, this room is probably the size of the gymnasium at my grade school. It's not a small room. Another unusual thing was the frantic closing of the food court. Employees were pulling the gates shut before everyone could even get out of there.

Carol and I thought this was very strange, indeed.

As we were cleaning up after ourselves and heading for the trash cans, we heard someone saying something about a tornado, and having to go to the Pilot House. I figured it wasn't a huge deal, so I started to walk back to my office across the quad. Carol said she would go to the Pilot House, but she wanted to grab her purse first.

I didn't make it very far before I ran into Traci, another colleague, coming down from the third floor of the student center.

"There's a funnel cloud at Page and I-170," she said. "We have to take shelter in the Pilot House." At the same time, I saw a campus police officer directing people downstairs, and decided I should probably turn around and join them.

After about 15 minutes, I went back to my office, where not only had people not taken shelter, but I'm pretty sure they didn't even know a funnel cloud was headed for campus.

Anyway, it made for an interesting lunch.

Zyrtec

I took some Zyrtec last night because I was feeling sneezy and eye-itchy. I proceeded to spend the next 24 hours not wanting to do anything exciting, like moving, or getting out of bed.

I think I'll have to save the Zyrtec for more dire situations. I'm trying some Alavert now. Maybe that'll be better.

I went to the Gypsy Caravan with Jill this afternoon. It was worth the $5 entry fee for the people-watching alone. I wanted to buy this obnoxious piece of "art" -- it was a baby cheetah painted on a large piece of plywood -- but the vendor wouldn't go lower than $10.

So I bought a $5 Sleeman Breweries sign instead. I then went home and waited for the Zyrtec fog to lift, which it did -- just in time for me to go to bed.

Blah.

Oh well, at least it's warm now.

On Overprotective Parents...

I just read this article about the harm overprotective parents are doing to their children.

It's a bit long, but well worth the read. Check it out.

What I learned from Oprah

Today, Oprah taught me that you can fit 62 small children into the blind spot behind an SUV!

So if you need to put your 62 children someplace out of sight and dangerous, just stick them behind your Suburban!

Extreme Engineering Addict

Thanks to Netflix, I'm an Extreme Engineering addict. I admit it. I think it's a cool show, and even sort of funny at times. See, every episode deals with a past, current, or proposed large-scale engineering project, and there is always at least a five minute "and then disaster strikes" segment, which always ends with the design passing the test.

Last night I watched one on the New York City subway system, and part of it was about the proposed expansion that involves building a megastation 140 feet under Midtown Manhattan. Of course, there had to be a fire. And, of course, rather than presenting it as an entirely hypothetical situation, it is presented as something that will most certainly happen, usually about 20 years in the future. Sometimes the narrator even gives an exact date. Because speculative alarmism is Extreme Engineering's bag, baby.

Anyway, gotta go -- watching one about Boston's Big Dig. I bet the potential disaster is some sort of earthquake or large sea serpent.

A thought...

I'm not interested in Dancing With The Stars. I mean, really, it doesn't do anything for me.

I would rather watch a show called Dancing With The Longshoremen. Or Dancing With The Guantanamo Detainees.

Or maybe Exotic Dancing With The Stars... Who doesn't want to see Regis Philbin hanging upside-down from a pole?

My answers

Okay, so I forgot to answer my own questions. Here you go:

- What is the worst opening act you have ever seen at a concert?
It had to be the Retribution Gospel Choir at the Wilco show on Saturday. Seriously, those guys sucked. Jill and I couldn't wait for them to leave the stage. Also, their lyrics sounded like something out of a high school creative writing class (and not a good creative writing class). I compare them to an emo band that has recently run out of mascara.

- What are you doing for Memorial Day?
Not sure yet. Next.

- What is your favorite cheap/free summer activity?
I'm going to have to go with various Forest Park activities. I need to get over there more often.

- What (if anything) are you doing to combat high prices at the pump?
Metrolink.

- Agree or Disagree: Cardinals' backup catcher Jason LaRue would look quite natural behind the wheel of a Trans-Am. Discuss.
Of course I agree, since I am the one who originally asked the question. He also seems like the person on the team most likely to wear lots of leather -- both in public and in private.

Bored.

I'm bored with the internet. Seriously. None of my favorite bloggers really blog a whole lot anymore. I mean, really people. What's wrong with you? Surely your lives aren't as boring as mine...

So, in the interest of generating some sort of interactivity on this blog, I'm asking for your response(s) to one or more of the following questions:

- What is the worst opening act you have ever seen at a concert?
- What are you doing for Memorial Day?
- What is your favorite cheap/free summer activity?
- What (if anything) are you doing to combat high prices at the pump?

Jeez, that last one sounds like an Eyewitness News segue. Lame.

Bonus question:
- Agree or Disagree: Cardinals' backup catcher Jason LaRue would look quite natural behind the wheel of a Trans-Am. Discuss.

Wilco

I went to the Wilco concert last night, and I'm pretty sure they melted my face off.

I just want to say that as amazing as Nels Cline's guitar skills sound on a recording, it's nothing compared to seeing him perform live.

The band played for nearly three hours. Some people in front of us left after the first encore ended, but Jill and I stuck around and took their places. At one point, I took a picture with my phone. Immediately after, a security guard tapped me on the shoulder. I was expecting him to tell me I couldn't take pictures, but instead, he said, "hey man, move closer -- you'll get a better picture!" and motioned for me to move about 12 feet closer.



Too bad my camera phone skills are a bit lacking...

A mix tape, just for you.

Conan's Replacement

When Jay Leno retires in June 2009, Conan O'Brien will take over The Tonight Show. At that time, Jimmy Fallon will become the host of NBC's Late Night.

In April 2002, Jimmy Fallon came to Truman to perform a stand-up routine. The best part of the show was when someone in the balcony screamed, "WE WANT OUR $25,000 BACK!"

It sucked. People only went because he was Jimmy Fallon -- at the height of his Jimmy Fallonness.

So, what do you think?

Confucius Say...

Really, any time someone presents you with some phrase that is attributed to Confucius (especially if said phrase is found inside a fortune cookie), Confucius probably didn't actually say it.

On another note, it's humid out. And I have a headache.

I've been obsessed with Mario Kart Wii lately. It's fun. Very fun. My character of choice: Koopa Troopa.

Finally, if you're in the St. Louis area, take a look at the cover story of this week's Riverfront Times. And keep in mind that I interviewed for a sales job there in 2005. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Banter Police

"Working hard, or hardly working?" says That Guy.

Dear That Guy,

Why do you think that's so damn funny? It's not funny. You're not funny. You're annoying. Go away. Stop using that phrase. It wasn't funny 30 years ago, and it's not funny now. Nor will it be funny any time in the future. So really, please, just stop.

The same goes for the other droll little sayings you insist on spewing out every day, including the following:

- "Just another day in paradise."
- "Git r dun!"
- "Waaasssaaaaaaap!" (Seriously, stop doing that. It's been nearly a decade. Let it die.)
- "Did you watch (insert reality show here) last night?"

Also, "That's what she said," you've been warned.

Attention Saint Louis Residents

I'm referring to those who live in the city proper here -- there's a scandal that's about to be all over everything.

According to my source, it's dirty, it's sexy, and it will probably hit the airwaves and news pages in a week or two.

I think it involves some sort of a fake orgasm contest at an on-the-clock party, which snowballed into something substantially larger.

Immortalized.

I have been immortalized in my friend Anne's house with this mural. And, to make sure nobody ever tries to steal this artwork, all the white spaces around and within my likeness were filled in with paint of the exact same color. Another coat will soon be added.

I want a margarita.

And, in case you don't understand what that means, here it is in several different languages:

German: Ich möchte, dass ein Margarita.

Chinese: 我想玛格丽塔

Dutch: Ik wil een Margarita.

French: Je veux une margarita.

Greek: Θέλω μια Μαργαρίτα.

Italian: Voglio un Margarita.

Japanese: 私の代わりにマルガリータ。

Russian: Я хочу Маргарита.

Arabic: اريد مارغريتا.

And, of course, Spanish: Quiero un Margarita.

For the record...

I don't have cancer. It occurred to me that the last post may have come off that way. But that doesn't make it suck any less.

A message from Captain Obvious:

Cancer sucks.