Turkeymas Eve

It's Turkeymas Eve. Also known as Skanksgiving.

Anyway, I just went to the grocery store to get some stuff for tomorrow's family feast. This year, I've been told I'm bringing green bean casserole. This, in spite of the fact that I have never made green bean casserole. Ever. I've eaten my fair share, but never made it. I'm sure it can't be too tough, though.

Apparently Turkeymas Eve is a big day for French's fried onions and Campbell's cream of mushroom soup. Both were nearly gone, although I'm sure the fine folks at Schnucks have ample supplies in the storeroom.

In other news, I got a dog. He's somewhere between 10 and 15 years old, partially blind, mostly deaf, and flatulent.



His name is currently Doc, but I'm thinking of changing it to something else. I mean, shit, it's not like he will actually hear me calling him. He uses his nose to get around. Although he does like staring out the window -- I often see his little head between the glass and the curtains when I return home.

He snores. He snores louder than me. Sometimes it wakes me up at night. Speaking of waking up, I have to wake HIM up every morning. It's a process that takes a while, given his near-blindness and almost-deafness. And when I'm waking him up, I can't just do it by calling his name (he won't hear) or petting him (he'll get startled and his heart might quit) -- no, I have to tap my foot gently on the floor near him until he feels and decides to roll over. This morning it took me about a minute of tapping.

Because of his advanced age, he doesn't do stairs too well. I mean, he does fine going down them, as he showed me the one time he followed me into the basement. He then showed me a few minutes later, that he can only make it about halfway up the stairs before he does a reverse otter slide back down to the bottom (which makes a disturbingly satisfying "plop" noise when he gets there.) So, basically, if there are more than a few stairs, I need to carry him up.

He barks like a beagle at things he probably can't even see or hear. Have you ever heard a beagle bark? It's very annoying. And loud. Oh so loud. He pees on the sidewalk (but thankfully not inside the house), and he left a turd there once too.

So, all-in-all, he seems alright.