Taking Stock

Went to a barbecue tonight. It was both delicious and enlightening, as I found myself sitting in a good friend's backyard until nearly two in the morning discussing lots of things that can only be summed up as "life."

The discussion gave me a chance to stop and take stock of things. I've got a handful of really great friends, that's for sure. Those are the ones who are easy to spot - they call you to see how you're doing. They e-mail if they haven't heard from you in a while. They invite you to do things. They acknowledge that friendship is a two-way exchange.

Sure, there are some peripheral friends (it sounds better than acquaintance) too, and they're alright, I guess, so long as the understanding exists that they are peripheral friends and not a lot more. They can become real friends, but it takes time.

Then there is the disappointment of discovering those who you thought were your really good friends were only peripheral friends. Or, even worse, not friends at all. They're the ones who don't return calls or e-mails. They don't make much of an effort to spend time with you. They can't be bothered to listen to you complain about a bad day (even if you've done the same for them countless times.) To them, your friendship is one of convenience. They're your friend only when it's convenient for their lives.

And while the last group is very disappointing, they have certainly been beneficial for me. After all, they make me appreciate my real friends that much more.