27 Seconds with David Sedaris

Last night I met David Sedaris. A week ago, I bought a copy of his new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames at Left Bank Books. At the time, I was given a ticket to come have it signed by the author himself. After not feeling well yesterday morning, I decided I wasn't going to subject myself to the throngs of people at the reading, which began at seven. No, instead, I decided to go down a bit before ten and catch the end of the line.

I was the last person in line for a few minutes before a random guy in a suit showed up.

"Why are you standing in line for a signature?" he asked, condescendingly.

"Because I bought the book, was given a ticket to get my book signed by the author, and that's what I plan to do," I said.

"Oh, I'm just here getting the book signed for a friend of mine who seems to like him," he said, answering a question that had not been asked. He stood in line for another ten minutes before leaving, and being replaced by a very nice couple named James and Jenny (I think), and a guy who was using a Hipster PDA.

I ended up waiting in line for two hours to get 27 seconds of face time with Sedaris, who was very polite and gracious to everyone, even the obnoxious woman who pointed out that she hadn't heard of him, but was there to get his book signed for her son, who told her he was a very funny writer. She then proceeded to tell him a really bad joke. While the rest of us cringed at the awkwardness of the situation, Sedaris was very gracious about it, and even laughed politely before thanking the woman for buying his book and sending her on her way.

When I left that evening, my book had nine more words in it:

"To Bob, I'm so happy you're alive.
- David Sedaris."